Sinong pwedeng magmura? Sinong pwedeng mag-usap tungkol sa “sex”?

Lahat naman ng tao nagmumura eh. Opo, lahat. Kahit bata pero syempre di nila yun sinasadya at kahit sabihin man nila yun, walang meaning yun sa kanila. Ang kadalasan na nagmumura mga lalaki. Yung tipong kahit masaya, may “SHIT” na kasama. May “PUTANG INA” rin. Ang pagmumura, sa henerasyon ngayon, nagiging normal na lang. New generations = new habits. Normal para sa henerasyon ngayon at normal para sa mga lalake.

Ang kadalasan din na interesado sa usapang “sex” ay ang mga lalaki. Yung tipong “tag-libog” sila. Umiikot lang talaga ang usapan sa “sex”. Kahit ano pang sub-subject ng “sex”. Kadalasan, pinaguusapan to for entertain purpose only o di kaya minsan, for knowledge. Normal din daw yan sa mga lalake.

Eh bakit pag babae ang nagmumura at interesado sa sex ay parang mali na sa paningin ng iba? H`wag naman maging sexist! Babae ako so hindi na ako pwedeng magmura at hindi na ako pwedeng magsalita tungkol sa “sex”? Mali naman ata yun. May nagsabi sa akin indirectly sa isang group chat sa facebook ng:

Wholesome topic guys! BABAE TAYO.

Excuse you? Ano ngayon kung babae tayo? Ano ngayon kung babae ako at nagmumura ako at nakikipag-kwentuhan ako tungkol sa “sex”? Hindi ako mabubuntis kung makipag-usap man ako tungkol sa “sex”. Ito ang ugali ko. At hindi ko babaguhin to dahil lang sa babae ako. Feeling mo walang rerespeto sa mga babae pag hindi sila wholesome? DYAN PAPASOK ANG MGA TRUE FRIENDS. Sila yung makiki-join sa kalibugan mo o sa pagmumura mo. Meron ako nun. Ikaw? Meron ka?

Parang gan`to lang yan eh, porket lalake bawal ng umiyak? Porket lalake bawal ng magkaron ng circle of friends na mostly babae? Diba? H`wag kasing sexist. Mali. Maling mali.

Hindi mawawalan ng dignidad ang mga babae k`pag nagmura sila o nagusap tungkol sa “sex”. Nagpapakatotoo lang sila sa sarili nila. Hindi lahat Maria Clara. At lalong hindi lahat ng babae na nakikipag-usap sa iba tungkol sa “sex” ay Maria Ozawa. Porket hindi kayo nagmumura o walang alam sa “sex”,wholesome ka na ba kagad? SANGGOL NA LANG ANG WHOLESOME NGAYON. Lahat tayo may alam na mura at may alam sa subject na “sex”. Yung iba nga lang, outspoken sa bagay na yan. Yung iba, mas gustong sarilinin. Ayaw kong i-sarili yang bagay na yan dahil alam kong mas magiging masaya ang topic na yan kapag shini-share sa iba. Choice ko to, h`wag kang kupal.

Lahat pwede magmura. Lahat pwede magusap tungkol sa sex. Lalake ka man o babae. Walang rule na “Oh eto, basketball, topic lang yan ng boys” o di kaya “Oh bag and shoes, sa mga babae lang yan”. KUHA MO?

A magical moment of shooting bliss.

A kiss is a moment when two individuals share a moment so magical and unforgettable only when the person is right and the time is perfect. A kiss can touch the cheek, the forehead, the hand, or anywhere one can kiss. But the most, let's say, special place where a kiss can happen is when it touches one's lips. It's a powerful, intense, and passionate sentiment. Mother to child. Husband to wife. Lover to lover. A friend to a friend? Now, that's something one can be perplexed about.

A kiss on the lips shared by two individual who have no relationship other than friendship can lead to something a little bit different. It can be an awkward moment. A relationship-changing one. Or despondently, it can ruin a friendship in any way.

One just have to be open-minded on this particular topic. For some, it might be wrong or a little bit off in a way. Others say it's alright because they are friends in the sense that a kiss can already be considered as a normal thing to do. Now, who am I to judge? A kiss can be shared by anyone and everyone who felt the blood-pumping rush feeling. It's like being light-headed yet you want every inch of it. It's pleasant that one's mind and body are completely relax. Overwhelming. One can also feel the need to do it again. To feel the adrenaline of kissing someone.

Love is always gonna be with kisses. So, kiss with a touch of your love and not a touch of your lust.

Blog Posts Schedule. Ahem. :))

I've officially forgotten this blog thingy. Ugh. Sorry my bloggie webbie! :( Hahaha! Anyway, im`ma post a schedule of blog entries I'll post this coming days...weeks? Probably months? I DON`T KNOW! Hahaha! But here you go biitches! >;)

RB#1 Graduation

RB#2 Birthday 16 ;)

RB#3 Date with sister <3

RB#4 Blab capital H-I-M

So therreeee! :>

Heart Meter ON (?) :"">

Hi

He said.

Hi. (I like you.)

I said. (In my mind.)

April's fool the day I actually talked to the most awesome person I've ever met. No, he's not Superman. Nor Wolverine. He's just an average guy with an extraordinary sense of humor. He ain`t like Bill Cosby nor Ellen DeGeneres. He's just someone who can really make me smile and laugh at the same time.

Despite all this, I can give my heart a hell lot of reason why I should not feel what I'm feeling right now. For starters, he's wayyyyyyy older than me. He likes "someone". Fate is really a biitch. I'm guessing Fate is a really huge man thus giving him a large amount of inertia. Moreover, when one has a huge amount of inertia, they tend to have a high capability to resist. Oh sorry, I'm missing my Physics Class. :)

But the most important reason I could ever give is that, he doesn't like me. I know it when someone is interested or they are just being friendly. He's officially, genuinely, and indisputably the latter. They always say that I'm quite the smart kid. The nerdy-girly girl with the heckos and drug-addicts and homos. But in case of "infatuation", I'm a beginner. A novice. An apprentice, perhaps. A tyro in the mid-sea of "infatuation". I just can't get how my Oxytocin Hormones always mess up in picking a guy. Because right ow, without great lamentation, I can say that oxytocin just screwed up in picking a guy I should be infatuated with.

I can try but I can't promise my damn heart that she will be okay after what I`m gonna do. The more one resist, the more they hurt. Don't they? I guess, I should just let Friction stop all the motion. But, wouldn't it create enough heat to worsen the situation? AHHH! I don't want to think anymore! I'm just gonna go with the flow and stay where I am. Because just like Newton`s First Law, an object will stay forever at rest unless an outside force interacts with it. So, if i just do nothing, nothing at all, then I can minimize the pain and save myself some energy for future use. So, Tearduck, prepare to be wasted. Because you`ll be partyin` all week together with Eyelid. Have fun flowing with your bitter salty water. :)

You + Me + superheroes = AWEZUMM dudes who can actually save one's day from fallin` apart. :)

I just save yours. <3

Ho-Ho-Ho. Friday, Friday!

March 19, 2011 is the day I smiled since then.

HAHAHAHA. Okaaay, that is soooo EMOTIONAL. Well, might be the effect of reading stuff at www.givesmehope.com. So, march 19 is the date when my sister and I bought my laptop. We decided to buy a Compaq Notebook Presario CQ42 Laptop. It's quite a so-so but it's not that bad either. In between, or something like that.

My new laptop comes with a printer, optical mouse and 4GB flash drive which I can use for the better. Well, you see, I wouldn't have to go to the computer shop to rent a computer and have them print my what nots. And I get to have a new and virus-free flash drive. I KNOW, THAT AWESOME. WORD. :))

Aside from the laptop, my sister bought me a Jellybean outfit. YEAH! Oh my God. I know, right? I was just kiddin' when I asked her to be me an outfit for my upcoming birthday. And well, SHE DID. I get to buy a floral print yellow and pink skirt with a white sando and a yellow flat shoes. It was soo cute and awesome. That was the first time that she bought something that grande to me. I mean, one that I'd surely keep. Well, i mean...okay, fvck it. All her gifts to me are perfect. Happy? HAHAHAHA. No but kidding aside, i'd surely rock in that yellow doll shoes. Oh how I love saturdayy then comes sundayyy. HAHAHA.

Rebecca Black in my head, messing it all up and infusing me with her auto-fvcking-tuned voice. Why would she agree to be auto-tuned? I mean, in her normal singing voice, she is good. Above good, even. She was requested to sang the US' National Anthem and she's good like what I just said, bitches. Maybe if she'd sing another song WITHOUT the auto-tune (please!), she'd get a thousand praises rather than a thousand insults. Ha! Im smart like that. BAM. :))

And so, our almost 3 weeks graduation rehearsals are now down to 2 days. YEAH. We're awesome. The rehearsal is really and when i say really, it's GRAVELY BORING. The teacher would say, "The Phil. National Anthem" and then we would rise up and the fvcking teacher would say, "Again". Oh fvck, you did not just say that for like the 10th time! And seriously people, an almost 10+ songs to practice? SERIOUSLY? And our sched is 7am to 5am? 10 hours in school just practicing the 10+ songs and the up and down protocol? Ya`ll people in the administrator will be the death of us all graduates for merely putting us in that kind of state. Our voices are getting huskier by the minute and our feet our getting sore. So what the hell ya`ll expect us to be at the day of the graduation? :l

So, because of those reasons, I didn't went to school today. YAY for me. and for tomorrow, I wouldn't go again simply because I know we'll do the same thing again and again. I'm really not up for those kind of things. I ALREADY KNOW THE PROTOCOL AND THE SONGS AND ALL THOSE SHITS. Okay?

**I am not sorry I just said that. But on the other hand, I would be sorry if a teacher in my school would read this shitz and saw the curse I used as an adjective for a teacher. Well, HI THERE COOCHIES. It's my blog, get off or I'll sue you for interrupting my privacy, bitches. HAHAHA. I'm just kiddin' my dear teachers. (Just in case, ya` know. :D)

Mac vs Windows

Major OMG.

My dad just called me and he told me that he'd let me pick for a laptop. Major OH MY GIE `cause that is my dream gift ever since I laid my eyes on my sister's laptop! I mean, it'd truly help me in college and stuff like leisure and those shizznitz. Now the major problem here, ladies and gentlemen, is WHAT SOFTWARE I`D LIKE TO BUY.

Mac or Windows.

On the word wide web, they said that they much prefer buying MAC because it doesn't have any viruses and easy to use and what not. I, however, is very literate in windows and `em afraid that if I buy a MAC, i'd just regret it.

So, MAC OR WINDOWS? I the hell don't know! :/

Fallin' In Love. :*

10 minutes.

I have to go to school within that minutes.

10 years.

I have to forget you within that years.

In front of the crowd, I might be the strong and well-spirited woman. But in front of the person who holds my heart, I am vulnerable. More than vulnerable. Fragile. A twig that can be easily stomp upon. With you, I felt like i am a somebody but when you left me, I felt like i am a nobody. A vast of darkness begins to enfold. A gust of wind around me. I began to exclude myself from what we call, Love.

For months, I hide from love. I learned to reject. But now, My mind is in its confusion state. Why am I feeling this again? The confusion of love. I want to question love's authority. It's magic that seems to be sucking the soul out of me. The dark soul within me. I didn't want it to get something from me. Something that i nurtured, fostered, took care of. I put all my hard work on it. Why does it have to get my cold heart? Then, I learned to let go. I learned to...love.

I learned to let go but i never tried to forget. I'm such a good liar. Aren't I? Don't blame me for not trying. How can I forget when all around me, all i can see is you. Our song now turns to My song. You detach yourself from that little thing that keeps me alive. Your song. Our song. My song.

Gotta change my answering machine.

Now that i'm alone 'cause it says that

"we can't come to the phone"

**NOTE: Okay. Do I still have to note this? :l It's cheesy, yet again. :))))

Sorry just won't wrap it all up.

I'm Sorry

His lie.

I Forgive You.

My lie.

You have the capability to say "sorry". To anyone. To everyone. To me. But i never felt the sincerity in your voice. The guilt in your eyes. I never saw that. I never felt it. I tried to forget the things that makes me doubt you. Your honesty. Your so-called-love. Heart-Breaking as it seems, I tried to understand everything you did. I tried to believe the lies that you've been blabbing to me. The lies which drives my mind to insanity.

But last week was enough. Phone's not ringing. My inbox that never felt your messages again. My ears that never heard your voice again. I thought that you just need space. I never thought you'll need another woman. You tried hiding it. Tried keeping it from me but your friends cares for me. Your friends that keeps on telling you that, "she is waiting". You never heard their pleas. You never heard my cry. Never saw the crystals that falls from my dark brown eyes.

I never wanted you to see me mourn. Mourning for my lost love. You never cared so why bother showing yourself at the foot of my door pleading for an apology? Was it to calm down your conscience? Do you even have a conscience? You deceived me. I entrusted you with my heart. But you failed me. You failed to hold my feeble heart.

You failed. You failed.

**NOTE: He said sorry. And I just don't have the mercy to forgive him. :l :)) EW, yet again. :))

Doubt.

I Love You

That's what I feel

I Love You

That's what he thinks he feel

I'm not really sure if I just can't trust you or you're just hard to believe. There's a lot of girls around you and I'm not sure if one of them is your girlfriend. You don't want me to know anything. You deprive me from knowing the truth. I don't and won't ask since it would make you doubt my trust to you. But it is falling apart. It is falling apart.

I wanna trust you 101% but how can I do that if I know that any minute you can find another woman. Another woman to love. I am having doubts on you. I am and I'm hating myself for that. I'm just not sure if this will go smoothly as i want it to be. I just hope it will. I hope you will never hurt me. I hope that you will love me as much as I learned to love you. Please, do not break my heart. I don't want it to happen again. Please. I need your embrace. Your loving kisses. I need YOU.

**NOTE: I also made this in gaiaonline. Well, the title says it all. It's also for him. CHEESY MUCH. Ew. YUCK. ;))

An Answer.

What can I do to make it up to you?

His plead

Just be friends with me

My plead

I thought I wouldn't see you again. Your lovely writings. Your unbelievable courage to bring me back again. Your tempting pleads. Your enchanting lies. I missed every little thing about you that once made me feel alive. It was definitely heaven. I was in cloud 9. I was ecstatic. I was in every place that make me happy. I was with you.

But..I had to refute it all. I had to reject the blossoming love. Because nothing will happen if I accept your apologies again. Nothing will ever be the same if I rejoice with your pleads. You will just banish me again. Punish me for loving you. You will just bring the wrath that makes my being shake from terrible pain. The shooting shards of glasses that pierce through my bone. Your infidelity. You, alone, can make me feel horrible. Your doings. Everything. I can't take your own torture. If i will, I will be in your personal hell. I can't but I want to. I won't but I want to.

What could be the chances of you hurting me again? It's like running across a speeding train. It's suicide. It's torture. It's hell. It's everything i don't want to feel. Yet, it's everything i want to do. If believing you will give me a short sudden shot of bliss then, I will. Even if i have to suffer at the end. I will.

**NOTE: I made this in gaiaonline to be my answer to his question. Isn't that CHEESY. :l haha! ;) See the irony at the end? :)) I LOVEEEEE GRAMMAR! (even if I suck at it :P)

Posting *OLD* Blogs.

So basically, I'm planning to make this blog to be my "main" blogsite. Just to organize things up. `cause I have one in wordpress. It's newly made and it's not user-friendly. Hahaha. Well, i think it's just me. I'm THAT stupid. :( Boohoo. I also have in Gaia. They have this journal thingyy. Anddddd. yeah.

Posting old blogs.

LOADING...

Too Long.

Oh My Gie.

It has been a while! No, it has been a decade! Nah, I'm kidding. :-)

You all might wonder, what kept me busy for a year or so. Well, I have been busy preparing for my upcoming graduation on March 31st and I am reallllllly, REALLLLYYY, excited and sad as well because on March 31st, I'd now say goodbye to my Alma Mater. What saddens me is the fact that my friends & I wouldn't have the time to get together again. I mean, I'm pretty sure all of us would be busy in our own colleges and most of my friends won't be studying in my school now. They'd probably prefer to go to UP or La Sallle or Benilde LS, or Ateneo even! I just hope we will all see ourselves someday successful. Awww. I`m getting emotional here. :-(

So anyway! I've been talking about RP right? Well, I kinda already quitted because a lot of biatches are commin'. No, I`m not afraid of `em or something but, i just don't want to deal with those kind of people. It's irritating and they ALWAYS get on my nerves. I decided to say GOODBYE 1 year ago? I dunno. I don't really keep tracks.

Another thing that kept me busy is the research paper in English. What makes it hard is all the citations and reference list. I mean, I know it's wrong to plagiarize and all those shizznitz but it's already the last year and my mind is already rushing about graduating. I just hope NO ONE sees this and tell my English subject teacher that I don't use books at all. Ooopsie. Teehee. ;-)

Soooo, have I filled you anything? Anything at all? Well, at least i've already updated this bloggy thingy. Well, WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT. I've put this on my to do list. "Update Blog" but then another to do list tops it and I'd forget it. Well, not until I'm eager to cross out all those to do list. IMMA DO ALL THIS SHIZZ. Promise. ;-)